Archived Meeting Minutes, Vol. One

May, 2015

National Security Love Letter

I wish that you would notice me each time you pass me by. That you could see the you and me who live in my mind’s eye. Give me time and I will make you mine. You’re gonna love me like I love you. You’ll find out if you give me time.

I feel as though we’re such good friends; I know you through and through. No one else can see like me all the things you do: the notes you send your mother, the witty texts to friends, the blogs you read. You’re so like me, peculiar to the end. Give me time and I will make you mine.

Whatever it takes, I’ll do. If only to be with you. Whatever it takes, I’ll do.

Alone, I check the monitors and scan the audit trail. I run my queries just for you and know that I won’t fail. Give me time and I will make you mine.

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The Cupertino Effect

And I feel like I see what I needed to be. But it’s not right, so I set sight on a permanently stated me. But it’s not quite, yeah it’s not quite exactly what it’s supposed to be, but I don’t fight it.

It’s the closest…

It’s the closest I’ve been to me. And the way that I share who I am everyday, there’s just one catch: I can’t seem to get back, like I’m trying to be what I’m supposed to say. So I think fast, and I broadcast exactly what I’m supposed to play, but it don’t last.

It’s the closest…

And I’ll be just a version of what you think of me, and it’s not right. Yeah, it’s not right, but it’s still the closest I’ve been to me. Been a long drive, been a hard ride, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, ’cause it’s all mine.

It’s the closest…

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Time Head

Sometimes when I blink, the whole world goes out of sync. And when I open my eyes, then I find, to my surprise, that it’s later than I think. Sometimes when I stare, I find myself aware of missing memories, things that I should see, should be known to me, and then I want to scream.

Don’t look away, the Silence will fall, and I’ll forget what I saw, and that is all.

So trapped in my own mind, I fear my mind is blinded. What secrets could I be concealing? So frightened of myself, I fear there’s someone else inside of me.

Sometimes while I sleep, I rise from my bed and creep out the door alone, with a charge unknown. One my waking mind won’t keep. Sometimes when I wake, there’s a feeling I can’t shake: that I’m not alone, that something unknown is always watching me, and then I want to scream.

Don’t look away, the Silence will fall, and I’ll forget what I saw, and that is all.

So trapped in my own mind, I fear my mind is blinded. What secrets could I be concealing? So frightened of myself, I fear there’s someone else inside of me.

The moon through my window casts shadows on the wall–figures surrounding me. Murmuring voices cascading down the hall, whispering their decree: obey.

Sometimes I surrender and just let go, away. Sometimes it feels so good to disappear, away.